“Children must grow, not only in the body but in the spirit, and the mother longs to follow the mysterious spiritual journey of the beloved one who, to-morrow, will be the intelligent divine creature, man.”
Maria Montessori – Dr. Montessori’s Own Handbook
Parents of children who learn differently, often require a bit more attention and understanding than what we, as school administrators, typically expect. If our schools are going to grow and thrive, we need to serve students with special needs. The atypical learner usually makes up about 10 percent of any school. Often in private or charter schools, this number is higher. If we are to serve these children, we must serve their parents as well.
What do these learners and their families need and how can we prepare environments where they can be successful? The number one thing these children need is a set of knowledgeable parents who are calm, informed and believe that the child’s teacher, principal, and staff understand and honor their child and his or her unique way of approaching the world. The children also need specially prepared environments, individualized and able to help them find their unique strengths and interests.
Parents who have recently received a diagnosis for their child or who are in the process of an evaluation will benefit from the gentle reminder that this change of understanding is going to take some getting used to. In her book for special needs parents, Special Kids Need Special Parents: A Resource for Parents of Children with Special Needs, Judith Loseff Lavin describes the process that some parents go through when coming to terms with the fact that their child has a learning difference. Loseff reminds that the news that one’s child is not a typical learner can be devastating to parents. She reminds us that parents, who get this news, may need to go through the stages of grief that accompany any great loss.
As an Elementary school principal, it is easy to get caught up in the initiatives, safety concerns, curriculum management issues and administrative duties that pull and tug from every side of the school. Taking the time to sit and help parents process the news that a child is differently abled is an honor and a huge responsibility. It is also worth it. If parents can connect, trust and come to accept their child’s uniqueness, then they, and we as educators, can form cohesive teams to find the best ways to meet their needs. Not every special needs child is like Jamie Oliver, Temple Grandin, Kiera Knightly or John Nash, but all of these contributors to society were once special needs students. We have a duty, and an obligation to help each child reach their full potential, and we can begin by helping each parent know that their child is unique and wonderful.
Working together as a team, the adults in a child’s life can prepare an environment of support, challenge, love, and guidance that will help the child grow in confidence. As a child with a special need learns new ways to compensate, create, and be successful, he or she will be able to reach their potential and use the gifts that they have. Talent, skill, and self-efficacy can grow in an atmosphere of support and self-reliance. Helping parents to see that their child, like all of the other children, are on a road to independence, and encouraging them to believe that they will get there, is the answer.
Resources
Lavin, Judith Loseff. Special Kids Need Special Parents: A Resource for Parents of Children with Special Needs. New York: Berkeley Books. 2001.