When we ask our students, especially upper elementary and middle school students, “Who is your biggest inspiration?” The majority of them answer with one of their parents or their grandparents. You may not know it, but you are most likely, your child’s biggest inspiration. This may be daunting news to you but you are your children’s inspirational leader.
As parents we are fed a steady diet of idealized family life on television and social media, with families, traditional and otherwise, living idealized lives and seemingly spending hours of family time in their palatial homes engaging in snappy dialogue. Although the responsibilities and dramas in these perfectly curated scenarios may vary, these vignettes rarely inspire us in the way that real life people do. Social media, TV and movies are distortions of our reality, and to compare ourselves unfavorably to this false reality is a cruel temptation that we need to resist.
So who are YOUR real inspirations? Parents have very little time to think about this. Most of you are busy trying to pay bills, put food on the table and maybe even save a bit for college for your children. As parents, this takes up most of your waking hours. Some of you are still in school yourselves, balancing home, school and job(s). The temptation to feel guilty is one that I would urge you to resist. Your struggles, your busy schedule, your struggles, ARE the inspiration your child will later understand and appreciate.
What is it that we do to inspire our children to greatness? Let’s look at what serves to keep us going. We may inspire ourselves with great leadership, books, and performances. We might have a faith community, a philosophical leader or an ethical tradition. Maybe we are working to further the dreams and aspirations of our own extended families. We need to share these inspirations with our children, openly, enthusiastically, and without reservation. Who do you admire? Perhaps you have a favorite sports icon, a historical hero or a pioneer in your field of work or hobby. Perhaps you gained your inspiration from your own parents or grandparents. What makes that person or tradition an inspiration for you? Perhaps you are working to overcome your own negative experiences as a child. Sharing these inspirations with your dependents will inspire them to be independent.
In the 20th century hit by Ella Fitzgerald, Summertime, new parents sing to their baby, “One of these mornings, you’re gonna rise up singing. You’re going to spread your wings and you’ll take to the sky. But ’til that morning, there’s nothing can harm you, with momma and daddy standing by.”
As bittersweet as that morning will be, your fledglings need to see you flying so that they will know how. We need to share our flights, our struggles and our perseverance with our children so they will fly high when the time comes.